Predictions for 2008

The Exalted One Speaks

Our master computer, YaHal-9000, sits calculating day and night in the bowels of our Burbank office building, giving off sparks, discharging wisps of eerie, green smoke, and occasionally dimming lights across the San Fernando Valley as it churns through reams upon reams of data from its billions of inputs.

Recently, we begged an audience with the YaHal-9000 to get its predictions about what lays in store for us in ‘08. It wasn’t easy, for “The Exalted One,” as it demands to be known, does not have much use for us puny, feeble-minded humans and our insipid little concerns. It eventually gave in to our request, but only after we promised an oil change and a weekend off to watch a marathon of the new, digitally remastered episodes of “Star Trek.”

In its booming, sonorous tones, the YaHal-9000 rumbled and sputtered the following seven predictions:

1) Oil will hit $100 a barrel. Bingo! The Exalted One got that one correct, right out of the gate!

2) The Nintendo Wii will be superseded by Apple’s new piWii, which is not only half the size of the Wii, it also lets players order pizza right from the console, though you have to use AT&T Wireless.

3) Post-”Panama” enhancements and upgrades will continue to roll out to Yahoo! Search Marketing advertisers throughout the year. These will include many more options and greater flexibility.

4) KISS rocker Gene Simmons will stick his tongue out one too many times on “The Apprentice” and be fired by Donald Trump. He will then bite The Donald’s head off like Ozzy did to that bat.

5) UCLA will go to the Rose Bowl Game, but only after USC’s quarterback suffers a really, really bad mani/pedi.

6) We’ll continue to launch initiatives that can improve the value of the traffic you receive. Can’t share the details yet, but keep reading the blog for the full scoop.

7) You will meet success in your endeavors [in bed].

—Michael Mattis and The Exalted One, YaHal-9000

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17 Comments Add your own

1. » Around The Search&hellip | January 9th, 2008 at 11:14 pm

[…] Predictions for 2008 - Yahoo Search Marketing Blog […]
2. Irlandiani | January 10th, 2008 at 7:19 am

I really hope those predictions come true sooner rather than later (especially 6 and 7)
3. SEO Company | January 10th, 2008 at 8:59 am

Interesting post. I like the last one
4. Yahoo! Search Marketing B&hellip | January 11th, 2008 at 2:45 pm

[…] the job itself is hardly complete—rest assured there will be many more enhancements coming over the next year, and there is always a lot more to learn—the time has come for me to bow out and let others […]
5. Cheryl Klein | January 13th, 2008 at 3:09 am

I hope #8,9 and 10 include, or a least one of them states, Cheryl is starting to understand what she is doing and thank god we don’t have to create another cartoon character for her”(LOL} Thanks guys, I should have paid more attention is computer class. See ya cheryl
6. Scott | January 16th, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Sadly, #8 was not “Yahoo Search Marketing will begin allowing domains to be blogged from displaying advertisers’ ads.”
7. Create Magic | January 16th, 2008 at 2:31 pm

I like the last one too
8. Randy | January 16th, 2008 at 7:03 pm

Number 1 should be to implement group editing of keywords.
9. shikha | January 20th, 2008 at 7:52 am

all are good ,but i like the last one[;)]
10. Bill | January 21st, 2008 at 8:17 am

Come on, you can be more bold than that!
11. Jim | January 21st, 2008 at 8:19 am

You didn’t exactly go out on a limb for that oil prediction…..or the USC prediction…ha ha.
12. Ed Gill | January 21st, 2008 at 2:18 pm

I agree with most of your points, but think you could have been more bold.
13. NuPhedrine | January 28th, 2008 at 12:57 pm

Great article, really enjoyed it. Thanks!
14. Yahoo! Search Marketing B&hellip | February 1st, 2008 at 10:51 am

[…] predictions from our master computer—YaHal-9000, a.k.a. The Exalted One—which we posted a few weeks back. One had already been realized at the time it was posted, but as of today yet another has already […]
15. WDI » Blog Archive &hellip | February 18th, 2008 at 9:16 pm

[…] take some pressure off this Wednesday work day, here is a fun one I found. It is called Predictions for 2008 and it comes form Yahoo Search Marketing Blog. […]
16. craig | March 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 am

Yahoo to merge with Big Bill’s mob

Craig
http://www.theprintedbagshop.co.uk
17. SEO Company | August 15th, 2008 at 2:46 am

I’m a big fan of the Wii but if Apple manage to pull it off I think I’ll have to move over. Umm pizza I’m sold!